Unfortunately, I had to make the grim decision to put my dear Copper to rest today. Three vets agreed the most likely diagnosis was a large cancerous growth in his abdomen. The vet today advised that the most humane action would be to put him to sleep, as he was experiencing obvious pain and discomfort. I spent quite a bit of time with Copper before and after his death. He was very much NOT the Copper that's he's been for his short 10 years, so that certainly helped to make the decision easier, but it doesn't help ease the pain.
I finally came home a little while ago (11:00pm) because I didn't want to spend the afternoon and evening in an empty house. Huge THANKS to my aunt and uncle (and cousins) for keeping me occupied this evening and getting my mind off of things. It was nice to have a reprieve from feeling such strong emotions. However, when I walked through the door of my house I was hit with a tidal wave of emotion and I just can't stop crying. Yes, I'm crying as I write this.
I see Copper everywhere! The last places he laid, his food and water dishes are still filled, his toys, his spot on the couch, the nibble marks on my Christmas cactus, even all the places that he would rub up against (he was such a happy cat). I hear his purr and I see his little face. It just feels like too much right now...so overwhelming.
True to form, the Princeton Animal Hospital was amazing. All the doctors and staff are so compassionate and understanding. Even the way they carried him out of the room after he had passed, with such care, as though he were just sleeping. Truly wonderful people with enormous hearts. Thank you!
And thanks to all my friends and family who are praying for some peace through this and sending me such nice sentiments. It's times like this when I'm reminded of how truly blessed I am. I may not have a lot of monetary wealth, but I have more riches in my friends and family than some of the wealthiest people on the planet. These are the riches that matter, btw! I thank God every day for each and every one of you.
I appreciate your continued prayers. This was way too soon after George's death and much too sudden and I'm not quite coping as before. I had months to grieve George and he had lived a longer life. And when you add that now I come home to a completely empty house...it makes it so much worse.
Oh, and I can't forget to mention that with Copper's last breath, he stuck out his tongue...he died with his tongue sticking out! While crying, I couldn't help but laugh when he did that. For those who knew him, you might agree...I think it's like he went out of life kind of how he lived it...sticking his tongue out at the world! It's just so fitting.
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2 comments:
Awe Mel, I'm so sorry. That is such a horrible decision to make! I'll be praying for you in the coming days, weeks with the loss of your little friend(s).
so sorry. loosing a pet is much harder than we expect sometimes.
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